1. Take the First Step, Don’t Wait for Them
To be friendly and make more friends, YOU need to make it happen. Waiting for others only makes you feel powerless and lowers your self-esteem.
YOU be the one to say hello and introduce yourself.
YOU be the one to join a new interest group (running, writing, etc.)
YOU be the one to suggest future meet-ups with people
Yes this might mean some people will reject you because they’re not interested in being friends. It also means you’ll find people who are too different than you and there’s just no “vibe.”
But that’s all part of the process. Everyone experiences these pitfalls when being outgoing, not just you.
Just remember, the smart way to be friendlier is to do it gradually. If you’re currently shy, forcing yourself to talk to strangers might actually backfire. You’ll get SO anxious you won’t want to put yourself in that situation again.
This is when you’re likely to give up on your goal of being more outgoing.
Instead, build some special conversation skills for yourself.
2. Give Balanced Self-Disclosure
Conversations are meant to be two-way streets. Ideally, each person should reveal an equal and comparable amount about themselves. For example:
If she talks about her cats, you talk about your pets (or lack thereof)
If he reveals his fear of failing in his career, you confess how you felt inadequate at times too
This is the way people get to know each other and ultimately.
3. Be Kind and Complementary
But only when it’s genuine.
In other words, don’t say they have a nice shirt if you really don’t give a crap about their shirt. Just be a fraction more observant and you’ll usually find something about the person you can genuinely admire and comment on.
On the flip side of this advice, don’t be a door mat. Make sure you’re also assertive and look after your own needs.
Personally, I was always too much “the nice guy” and while people thought I was kind, they often didn’t respect me.
4. Know Your Strengths and Build Self-Confidence
Let’s be real for a second here.
If you’re shy or feel socially inadequate at times, the above “action steps” might be hard.
Things like better self-disclosure and speaking about a wide variety of topics make sense “on paper.” But when you’re in the moment, usually one of two things happens:
You can’t bring yourself to even go up and talk to people
Your mind blanks, you act awkward, and don’t feel like yourself
What’s happening is your anxiety (YES anxiety) is holding you back. There are so many negative thoughts and feelings coursing through you, you can’t think straight.
THAT’s why you can’t act naturally.
Well, this is where Confidence, courage and self-esteem have to step in and save the day. The more confident you become socially, the less anxiety will affect you. And that’s when you can start acting more natural and authentic with little effort.
One way to start building your confidence is by knowing your strengths. Because knowing you have value boosts your self-esteem.
Also, this gives you a sense of worth from what’s inside you, NOT from the approval of others. That’s key, because when you learn how not to care about what people think , you’re free to act silly, fun, and spontaneous with little to no fear of the “consequences.”
5. Take Action
But of course, gaining confidence is a process.
We all want to connect with others. It’s a basic human need. And when you’re not sure how to be friendly or find a place to belong, that hurts in a very primal way.
Just remember, you’re not alone in feeling this way. Not all of us were lucky enough to grow up being naturally outgoing. Take it gradually and try just one of the above suggestions at a time. Eventually, with a little effort, you’ll find people are warming up to you faster.
Kindly Drop Your Opinion below and don't forget to share this Message others👍
#We Love You😘
To be friendly and make more friends, YOU need to make it happen. Waiting for others only makes you feel powerless and lowers your self-esteem.
YOU be the one to say hello and introduce yourself.
YOU be the one to join a new interest group (running, writing, etc.)
YOU be the one to suggest future meet-ups with people
Yes this might mean some people will reject you because they’re not interested in being friends. It also means you’ll find people who are too different than you and there’s just no “vibe.”
But that’s all part of the process. Everyone experiences these pitfalls when being outgoing, not just you.
Just remember, the smart way to be friendlier is to do it gradually. If you’re currently shy, forcing yourself to talk to strangers might actually backfire. You’ll get SO anxious you won’t want to put yourself in that situation again.
This is when you’re likely to give up on your goal of being more outgoing.
Instead, build some special conversation skills for yourself.
2. Give Balanced Self-Disclosure
Conversations are meant to be two-way streets. Ideally, each person should reveal an equal and comparable amount about themselves. For example:
If she talks about her cats, you talk about your pets (or lack thereof)
If he reveals his fear of failing in his career, you confess how you felt inadequate at times too
This is the way people get to know each other and ultimately.
3. Be Kind and Complementary
But only when it’s genuine.
In other words, don’t say they have a nice shirt if you really don’t give a crap about their shirt. Just be a fraction more observant and you’ll usually find something about the person you can genuinely admire and comment on.
On the flip side of this advice, don’t be a door mat. Make sure you’re also assertive and look after your own needs.
Personally, I was always too much “the nice guy” and while people thought I was kind, they often didn’t respect me.
4. Know Your Strengths and Build Self-Confidence
Let’s be real for a second here.
If you’re shy or feel socially inadequate at times, the above “action steps” might be hard.
Things like better self-disclosure and speaking about a wide variety of topics make sense “on paper.” But when you’re in the moment, usually one of two things happens:
You can’t bring yourself to even go up and talk to people
Your mind blanks, you act awkward, and don’t feel like yourself
What’s happening is your anxiety (YES anxiety) is holding you back. There are so many negative thoughts and feelings coursing through you, you can’t think straight.
THAT’s why you can’t act naturally.
Well, this is where Confidence, courage and self-esteem have to step in and save the day. The more confident you become socially, the less anxiety will affect you. And that’s when you can start acting more natural and authentic with little effort.
One way to start building your confidence is by knowing your strengths. Because knowing you have value boosts your self-esteem.
Also, this gives you a sense of worth from what’s inside you, NOT from the approval of others. That’s key, because when you learn how not to care about what people think , you’re free to act silly, fun, and spontaneous with little to no fear of the “consequences.”
5. Take Action
But of course, gaining confidence is a process.
We all want to connect with others. It’s a basic human need. And when you’re not sure how to be friendly or find a place to belong, that hurts in a very primal way.
Just remember, you’re not alone in feeling this way. Not all of us were lucky enough to grow up being naturally outgoing. Take it gradually and try just one of the above suggestions at a time. Eventually, with a little effort, you’ll find people are warming up to you faster.
Kindly Drop Your Opinion below and don't forget to share this Message others👍
#We Love You😘
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